Published: May 13, 2008 09:52 am         

Argus Hamilton for 05-13

HOLLYWOOD—God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Hillary Clinton is favored to clobber Barack Obama in West Virginia today by forty percentage points. She gets no help from cable news shows or the print media. People magazine covered Hillary’s victory in Indiana in its Where Are They Now section.

Tom Cruise’s movie about the German officer who tried to kill Adolf Hitler was shelved by the studio Sunday after awful test screenings. The actor’s too unpopular. Movie audiences aren’t supposed to cheer when Hitler survives your attempt to kill him.

NBC Dateline ran an old interview with Charles Manson Saturday from twenty years ago. He said industry was melting the polar ice caps and destroying the ozone. The Nobel Committee just called Al Gore and told him he’s going to have to split the Peace Prize.

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. He can be reached for speaking engagements by e-mail at argus@argushamilton.com.